Meri PhD kahani (part 1)

Zamana-e-talib ilmi ka agaz main to hamare lea lafz “Doctor” to bas aik aisi shakseat the jo apne tanhai or kitabon main guzare ayam ka badla noh-e-insan sa lene ka lea farista sift safed rang pehn ka ata tha, or nit nai bemareoun k nam bta kar injection or karvi goleoun ka tohfa da jata tha. Ap ka malom nahi, fidvi ka zehn main jamat panjam tk “doctor” lafz sun kar aik safed bhoot ata tha, jis ka aik hath main blade or dosre main injection ho, or us k bhoot pane ka aik he maqsad ho, ap ki tasref pa ap ka khandan, or taman marzon ka samne wo injection laga k ap ki chekh o pukar ka maza lena.

Phir jon jon is talem ka marz, dava ka sath sath barhta gya to malom hoa ka aik or makloq bhe isi nam sa dunyia main pai jati ha, jo bohat kam kam dikhti ha, magar aksar log gavahi dete hain k unhon na use dakha ha. Malom nahi wo chalawa ha, roh ha ya koi bhot, ustad log use PhD doctor ka nam dete hain.

Fitri tajusus ka hathon majbor ho k talash shuru ki k ya PhD kya afat ha, ya kon sa doctor hain jo na safed coat phnte hain, na gale main kala phanda, or na he apas main kisi khalai zuban main guftagu karte hain. Malom para k ya to koi azem log hain, kisi aik mazmon ka magaz ka kisi aik cell pa zindagi laga k us main maharat hasil karte hain. Ise doctorate kaha jata ha, or ya kisi bhe mazmun ka satven asman pa qadam rakhne jesa ha.

Ab is khaksar ka samne 2 qisam ka doctor hazrat the, aik safed coat main chupe MBBS bhot, or aik dunyia main kam kam dikhne wale, kisi aik chez main authority rakhne wale PhD. Or fidvi ko bachpan sa he kute ka ilava jis chez ka dravne khawab aya wo kisi doctor ka zibah khane main tashref pa lagne wala injection tha. Is lea hamare dil main PhD wale 5^th dimension ka logon ki izat barhti gae or usi wqt dil main un jesa banana ki khwahish na janam lea. Yaken manea ab bhe jab wo wqt yad ae to fidvi ki ankhon sa itna pani rawan hota ha k aik or darya-e-sindh rawan ho jae.

In chalawon pa or tehqeq ki to malom hoa k yar log is ki tashreh kuch yun kea karte hain “PhD= Phira hoa Damag”. Or waja ya bayan karte hain k itni “research” ka bad insane jisam ka top floor “redirect” ho jata ha. Ham jo is shoba-e-zindagi pa dil o jan sa fida hoe bethe the, hamen ya baten samjh nahi ati the k q bhai, us insane na insaneat ka lea zindagi qurban kar di or tum us ki izat kese nahi karte.

Doctorate ka shoq ishq ka poda ban k hamare dil o damag main panapta gya. Nam ka sath “engineer” ka sabka lagne tk ya poda darkht ban chukka tha. Yar logon na bohat smjhaya, khandan walon na bohat salahen di k mean q apni jawani barbad karte ho, abhi tm na dakha he kya ha. Magar ya fidvi apne is irade par aise qaem-o-daem tha jese k badshah-e-wqt ham he hon. Mere aik aiziz az jan dost to mere is irade sa itne pareshan the k jab sab waste da k bhe kuch na ban para to aik shab hamen apni gari main lada or Lahore ka aik aise kone main la gae jahan (ba mazrat Hafeez jalandhri)

Adaen Fitna Khez,

Hassen Jalwa Rez,

Hawaen Itar Bez The,

Nagah-E-Fitna Gar,

Koi Idhr Koi Udhr

Ubharte Hon Aish Par.

Ya khaksar sharafat ka dava to nahi karta, magar Lahore shahar main aik bars guzrne ka bad bhe, or awaragard ka tane pane ka bawajod ya hisa hamari ankh sa ojhal tha. Hamen is sab sa lutaf andoz hote hoe dakh ka hazrat na dono kandhon sa pakra or farmane lage.

Hava Bhi Khushgavar Hai,

Guloon Pe Bhi Nikhar Hai,
Taranume Hazar Hai,

Bahar Purbahar Hai,
Kahan Chala Hai Saqiya,

Idhar To Laut Idhar To Aa
Arre Ye Dekhta Hai Kya,

Utha Subu, Subu Utha.
Subu Utha Piyala Bhar,

Piyala Bhar Ke De Idhar,
Chaman Ki Simt Kar Nazar,

Samaan To Dekh Bekhabar
Vo Kali Kali Badaliyaan,

Ufaq Pe Ho Gahi Ayaan,
Vo Ik Hajoum-E-Maikashaan,

Hai Su-E-Maikada Ravaan,

magar ham jo alaw tareen talemi aizaz ki aas lagae bthe the k kab nam ka sath aik or sabke ka izafa ho, ham na bhe use jon main jawab dea,

Ibadaton Ka Zikr Hai, Nijat Ki Bhi Fikr Hai,

Junoon Hai Sawab Ka, Khayal Hai Azab Ka.

Magar Suno To Shaikh Ji, Ajib Shai Hain Aap Bhi,

Bhala Shabab-O-Aashiqi, Alag Hue Bhi Hain Kabhi.

Aik or bohat payare dost hamare jaat sahib, bohat payare insan. Unhon na to ya dhamki tk laga di “tenu goli marsan”, or ham doctorate ka ishq main dobe hoe bilaiktyar yak eh uthe ka jatt sahib, chanab kache gharon pa he par karna parta ha.

Akhir is ishq ka age sahiba ka bhaeoun ka kirdar ada karne wale UK embassy walon nab he hath jor dea or hamen ENGLISTAN ki Queen Marry University main dakle ka parvana mil he gya. Ab sochta hon to mehsos hota hak unhon na bhe ya kehte hoe mohar lagai ho ge “Marna e aa tu ta ja mar”.

Phir ham akhir kar ENGLISTAN alaw talem ka hasol ka lea a pohnche. Kher alaw talem ka sath sath fidvi ka azm-e-peham ya bhe tha k degree ka sath nigahon ko sakon bhe muyasar ae to kya bura ha, sun rakha tha k

Aarz-E-Kalesa Ka Har Mahpara

Suna Ha Us Ka Badan Ki Tarash Aisi Ha

Ka Phol Apni Qubaen Katar K Dakhte Hain

Suna Ha Chashm-E-Tasawur Sa Dast-Imkan Main

Palang Zavea Us Ki Kamar Ka Dakhte Hain

Kher ae to ham sir pa Doctrate ka taj sajane the, magar yahan a ka malom hoa k

Ya Ishq Nahi Asan

Aik senior na bare payar sa smjhaya k sahib, ap ki walida yahan sa hazaron mile dor tashref farma hain, to phle ap bare sahib-zade sa badal kar aik love marriage wali bahu ki tarah amor-e-khana dari main maharat hasil karen. To phir ham na aik achi beti ki tarah khana bnane, safai karne, kapre shone or hata k silai main bhe maharat hasil karna shuru ki.

Yaken janea sahib, yahan ham na aise aison ko amor-e-khana dari aisi jan fishani sa sir injam dete dakha ha k dais main koi bhe khaton apni tamam jaedad da k unhen ghar jamai bnana chahen. Mere aik bhaeoun jese senior khud btaya karte hain k Pakistan main office main bhe pani un ka hath tk matehat la kar ate the, or yahan wo aise aise khane khud banate hain k phle luqme ka bad ap ka monh sa “Maa sadke” nikal ae. Aik or bohat payare dost jo dais main 40 logon pa kisi general ki tarah hukam chalaya karte the wo ab rat ka aik bje apne office sa ham jese 3 lafangon ko nahi nikal pate or fidvi sa umer, tajurbe or zahanat main kahen age hone ka bawajod “bhai bhai” keh kar mukhatib karte hain.

Waqt guzrne ka sath ya raz bhe khula ka PhD karne sa ap ka damage kharab nahi hota, ap ka damage kharab hota ha jo ap PhD karne ate hain. Koi aqal mand insane apne hosh o havas main aisa faisla nahi kar skta,

Dewangi Faraz Ha Parvane Ka

Aik khlish abhi bhe qaem the ki PhD ko “Doctor of Philosophy” q kaha jata ha, are ham to engineer log hain, aik mera dost doctor, mafi chahta hon, dentist ha, falsafe ka ham sa kya lena dena. Arsa guzra to andaza hoa, ka yaw o iqbal ka falsafa nahi sahib, ya zindagi ka falsafa ha. Ap aik aisa masla dhodh rahe hain, jis ka puri bani noh insane ko malom he nahi, or use hal karne wale hain, (apni qabar khod ka, lait kar mati bhe khud dal rhe hain). Or hamare aik bohat mohtram sathi to is zindagi ka falsafe main itna age nikal gae k Iqbal or Rumi k kalam ki roh pakar bethe. Or ham there Galib or Wasi shah ka mare hoe hamri un sa kabhi lambi behs na chal saki, bas un ki zubani iqbal or jalal ki dunyia ki ser karte rahe. Wese sunane main ya bhe aya k hamare wo aziz az jan bhai bhe Ehl-Farag ko bohat qareb sa dakh kar or umer ki adhi bharen guzar ka Rumi tk pohnche the. Magar ham to yahan angrez sa 100 sal ki gulami ka aazm lea ae the wrna mulak to or kae the. Ab dushwari ya the k wo hamen kisi mah-para main mashgol dakhte to kuch naraz bhe ho jate k ham un khate angoron ki aas main jo angor ki beti sa shugal farma rahe hoti, un ka ilm sa istafada hasil nahi kar pa rhe jab k ham iklaqi or mazhabi bandishon ki waja sa wahan kuch kar bhe nahi skte. Phir aik din ham na Iqbal ki zuban main he unhen jawab dea k

Jo Maza Kabotar Par Jhpatne Main Ha Ae Pisar

Wo Maza Kabotar Ka Lahu Main Bhe Nahi.

To hazrat muskura uthe or samjh gae k abhi jawani ka ubalon main ya iqbal ki anti biotic over dose ho rhe ha or hamari rumi ki dosage hamari bardast ka mutabik ghata di.

To be continued ....